DBT Codependency Away
Codependent No More
In shadows deep, a woman once confined,
Her spirit trapped, her heart confined,
Bound in chains of codependency’s sway,
But within her, a flicker sought its way.
She journeyed through the valleys of despair,
Her soul aching, gasping for love’s fresh air,
In the depths of her being, a desire took hold,
To break free from the clutches that had controlled.
With DBT as her guiding light,
She stepped into the realm of mindful sight,
In her quest for healing, she embarked,
Ten DBT techniques, her armor stark.
1. Mindfulness, her compass true,
Awareness bloomed, her vision grew,
She embraced the present, let go of the past,
Found solace in moments that forever last.
2. Emotion Regulation, a skill she learned,
To navigate the tides, her heart discerned,
Identifying feelings, without judgment or blame,
She reclaimed her power, no longer a pawn in the game.
3. Distress Tolerance, her anchor strong,
To weather the storms, to carry her along,
In the face of turmoil, she found inner peace,
A sanctuary within, where anguish would cease.
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness, a newfound grace,
Boundaries set firmly, at her own pace,
Asserting her needs, communicating her truth,
Releasing the chains that had bound her youth.
5. Opposite Action, she embraced with might,
Acting against urges, reclaiming her light,
She forged a new path, where strength did reside,
No longer defined by the toxic ties that had lied.
6. Checking the Facts, she learned to see,
The distorted stories that once held her decree,
Examining the evidence with an open mind,
No longer imprisoned, the truth she’d find.
7. Building Mastery, she sought to grow,
Discovering strengths she had yet to know,
With each step forward, she bloomed anew,
Unleashing her potential, vibrant and true.
8. Self-Validation, a gift she bestowed,
Accepting her worth, from within it flowed,
No longer seeking validation from outside,
Her self-love radiated, a fierce inner guide.
9. Creating a Life Worth Living, her vision grand,
Crafting a future with her own hand,
Embracing passions, dreams, and desires,
Her spirit ignited, fueled by sacred fires.
10. Radical Acceptance, the final key,
Embracing her journey, setting herself free,
She let go of what was, embraced what could be,
A woman reborn, in her own destiny.
In the tapestry of her being, a story unfurled,
A woman once bound, now transcended the world,
Through DBT’s embrace, she found her way,
Escaping the toxic bonds, a radiant soul at play.
A story of the seeds of codependency
...In a small town nestled amidst lush green hills, lived a young girl named Lily. She was raised in a loving but complicated family dynamic that laid the roots for her codependent behavior in later years.
Lily’s parents, Sarah and James, had a tumultuous relationship marked by frequent arguments and emotional instability. Sarah struggled with addiction, while James worked long hours to support the family. As a child, Lily witnessed her mother’s erratic behavior and the strain it put on her father. In an effort to keep the peace, Lily took on the role of the mediator, always trying to soothe her parents’ conflicts and ease their pain.
Over time, Lily internalized the belief that she was responsible for her parents’ happiness and well-being. She became the caretaker, stepping into a role beyond her years. She would ensure her mother had her medication, cover up her father’s fatigue, and put on a brave face to keep the family together.
As Lily grew older, the patterns of her childhood translated into her romantic relationships. Unconsciously seeking familiar dynamics, she was drawn to partners who needed fixing, just as her parents did. She believed that by nurturing and sacrificing for them, she could recreate the stability and harmony she yearned for in her own childhood.
Lily’s desire to rescue and fix became deeply ingrained in her identity. She put her partners’ needs above her own, neglecting her own emotional well-being in the process. She became hyper-vigilant, always attuned to their moods and needs, fearing that any sign of unhappiness might lead to the collapse of the relationship.
Her codependent behavior stemmed from a profound fear of abandonment. Lily had grown up with the constant threat of her parents’ separation, and she desperately clung to her partners to avoid facing that same pain. The belief that her worth was tied to her ability to keep others happy and to maintain relationships fueled her codependency.
It wasn’t until Lily sought therapy that she began to unravel the intricate web of her codependent behavior. Her therapist, Dr. Greene, guided her on a journey of self-reflection and introspection. Together, they explored the wounds of her childhood and the unhealthy patterns she had unknowingly carried into adulthood.
Through therapy, Lily gained insight into her deep-seated fears and learned to challenge the beliefs that kept her trapped in codependency. Dr. Greene helped her develop self-compassion, teaching her that her worth was not determined by her ability to fix or rescue others. She began to realize that true love and healthy relationships required mutual support and the freedom for each individual to grow and thrive.
As Lily gradually shed her codependent tendencies, she experienced a newfound sense of liberation. She learned to set boundaries, communicate her needs, and prioritize her own well-being. It was a challenging journey, marked by moments of self-doubt and fear, but with each step forward, she embraced the freedom to live authentically.
Lily’s story serves as a reminder that our childhood experiences and family dynamics can shape our behaviors and beliefs in profound ways. However, through self-reflection, therapy, and a willingness to heal, it is possible to break free from codependency and forge healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Lily’s journey inspired others to confront their own roots and embark on a path of self-discovery and self-love.
Tim Welch, LPCC Mental Health Counseling,
Newark, Ohio Licking County Online Therapy. Virtual Counseling for Alcohol Addiction, Drug Addiction, Anxiety, Depression & Mental Health Issues.
